Category Archives: Happiness

Cope with Peace and Grace: Practice Gratitude

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Gratitude acknowledges that we are beneficiaries of life. We do not put
the chicken in the egg or the oak tree in the acorn, but are merely
recipients of those gifts. Research suggests that grateful people are better
able to cope with stress and have stronger immune systems than those
who primarily focus on illness or problems. (WebMD)

Having a positive, grateful attitude does NOT mean denying or ignoring
problems. Like infections, trauma tends to fester and make us ill if it is
ignored or minimized. I take a balanced, healthy approach that deals with
both the past events AND the present thinking patterns that contribute to
current problems. Many years of study, internships, licensure, and experience
qualifies me to help you find a more peaceful and grateful life, free from your past.  It is never to late to begin.

Five Ways to Appreciate Your LIfe

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1) Stop and breathe in deeply. Hold for a few seconds, then breathe out slowly. Mentally watch the air flow.

2) Visualize breathing IN sparkling, clean healthy air. Visualize breathing OUT the black cloud of stress.

3) Take time to look around and cherish the vibrating aliveness of nature all around you.

4) Keep a Gratitude List. Count the small things you take for granted: your feet that take you where you want to go, the eyes that let you feast on beauty.

5) Realize that THIS moment never comes again!

Increase Your Happiness Level

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1) Tackle your problems head on with the help of your therapist. Don’t avoid or postpone things.

2) Take time each day to enjoy something. Look for the little gifts life holds: sunshine, a hug or warm smile. Appreciate the taste of food, the sound of birds.

3) Avoid “awfulizing” the situations life brings. Uncomfortable? Yes, but we can survive them.

4) Remember that how YOU SEE life is how it WILL be. Recognize the power of the thoughts you focus on!

5) Give yourself the same kindness you give others.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, or CBT, is a style of therapy that examines the beliefs you have about your life. These beliefs came from life experiences and you may not even be aware they are controlling you. Beliefs about yourself such as “I must always achieve more than others” can cripple your enjoyment of life. CBT helps free you from those thoughts. (Burns)

Shakespeare said, “there is nothing good or bad, but thinking makes it so.” While obvious tragedies do happen, we have more power than we think to make sense of them and move forward. My work involves me using my skills to help examine your thinking and beliefs to see where YOUR automatic thoughts are holding you back, in ways you don’t even realize. Let’s find freedom!

 

Become Empowered by Accepting Your Unique Self

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In order to feel fulfilled, everyone needs to feel connected, whether as part of a team at work, in our family, or in the community.  It gives us great satisfaction to know how we fit.
While being part of a team or family can be source of much joy and fulfillment, it also can
be a source of stress.  One way to reduce this stress is to honor your unique strengths
in serving the larger group. This gives you the experience of fully being yourself while still
being connected.  Here are three tips for defining yourself.

Reflect on Who You Are

The process of defining yourself is called differentiation. It is your capacity to define your own life goals and values apart from other’s influence.  It gives you the ability to stand up for what you believe when others are pressuring you to go along with theirs.  Murray Bowen, developer of family systems theory, believed that differentiation was essential to your personal health and the success of every group.

When you are differentiated, you can remain relatively calm in the midst of upsetting situations by taking responsibility for your own emotional well being.  It allows you to be an “I” while remaining connected to the “We.”

Identify Your Character Strengths

One way to differentiate yourself is to identify your unique character strengths. Positive Psychology has completed a major classification of the character strengths and virtues endorsed by almost all major religions and cultural traditions.  They have identified 24 character strengths reflecting six basic virtues: Wisdom and knowledge, courage, love and kindness, justice, temperance, spirituality, and transcendence.

Using these character strengths is a major source of gratification in our lives. You can identify your unique character strengths by taking the VIA Signature strengths survey at
www.authentichappiness.org.

Clarify How You Would Like to Use Them

You will discover that you have three to five of these character strengths that you use more than others. Using these strengths brings out your enthusiasm, uplifting yourself and others. Reflecting on how you use them helps you to differentiate yourself.

Then define your values, preferences, and purpose in your groups. Do this for your family or origin, as well as for your current relationships at home and at work. This allows you to be unique while still connected to the larger whole.

When you are clear on who you are, others will know how to interact with you.  It will increase your effectiveness while reducing stress.  Now isn’t that attractive?